Dr Seuss was a traumatizing ***hole.

I am not one to dwell on the “mistakes” of the past because it is a waste of time, and it makes you lose sight of the good things you have in life. But there is one decision I made when I was a young boy that I regret to some extent and that was my refusal to learn to play the piano.

There is a movie I saw on TV, probably when I was seven or eight years old that predisposed me against tickling ivories. It was of a kid that was sent to some weird piano school ran by some crazy dude who kept the students in some sort of cult-like compound and underground facility with an endless keyboard where the kids were to play over and over. My memories of that flick are dark and still at this age give me chills.

I did not recall the name of the movie, but thanks to the magic of internet and a few key words I located it.

This thing gave me nightmares asleep and awake. It was scenes like this that made me shudder to the idea of taking piano lessons.

And then to add to the mental potion, the movie had some unusual characters that makes me think that Mr. Geisel was heavily into peyote and recording his hallucinations.

Skating Siamese beard twins. Yeah, something so normal and easy to mentally digest for a little boy.

Maybe a month or so after I watched this movie, my mom (who loved music) asked me if I wanted to learn how to play the piano. Apparently, somebody offered my dad an upright piano for peanuts under the condition he did all the moving and transport and mom thought it would be a wonderful thing for me to learn. I remember she asking me and my very forcefully refusal and saying I did not want to be a slave of some crazy teacher. Clear as day I remember her look of confusion and a bit hurt, but she did not insist seeing my reaction. Other instruments were tried in later years, all failed and it was the end of my musical career even though I liked music. Later in life I found out I did have ability with a recording console and all the apparatus that come with a studio, so in a roundabout way, I did get into the art.

About 5 years after watching “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.” one cute girl gave me as Christmas gift my first “adult” album and I was hooked on piano and keyboards in general for the rest of my life.

And it did not help me a bit that I was recommended this album shortly after by a friend:

Rick Wakeman and Keith Emerson are played daily, especially their piano pieces. The only other instrument I like somewhat closely is the bass and that is only because of the sheer amazing madness of Jaco Pastorious.

Anyway, Dr Seuss was a traumatizing asshole, thank you for nothing.